Do you understand why your baby is crying?

Some people say that you need to teach your baby to be patient, that you should explain that nothing can be done immediately and that they have to wait and respect your needs as well. Believe me, your child will learn all about that later. But right now, you should not torment your baby, who is totally dependent on you.

 You may think at first that when your baby starts crying, it might be hunger. In the beginning, this can be confusing, but after a few days, you will find out that your baby almost always gets hungry at regular intervals. If you feed your baby formula, it can be beneficial every day to write down the time of feeding, how long and how much the baby ate. I could almost know what time it was each time my daughter asked to feed her. She was like an alarm clock and would start crying precisely every 3 hours 5-6 times a day, asking for milk. 

 If your baby doesn’t want to eat, then perhaps he or she is thirsty. Keep bottles with water in every room next to the baby’s bed. Each time your baby starts crying give water first, because it could be thirst very often from the very first days. I was told that you should not give a baby water until a certain age, especially if you are breastfeeding. For the first days of your baby’s life each time your baby cries you need to nurse them frequently to increase breast milk supply and not give either a bottle or pacifier. As it is easier for a baby to drink formula from a bottle rather than milk from the breast, your baby will prefer what is easier. That’s why mothers don’t want to give baby a bottle with either formula or water during the first weeks of the baby’s life. Your baby doesn’t want water or anything else in the mouth except the mother’s breast. It becomes impossible to soothe the baby by giving a pacifier or a bottle with water or formula and thus baby hangs onto the mother’s breast 24 hours a day.

 Breast milk is the best and most natural food you can give your baby. But maybe there is no need to be so dogmatic. Nothing terrible will happen if the baby gets a pacifier and a bottle of water in the first days of life and you and your baby are less stressed. Everyone needs water and babies are no exception. Besides, a baby bottle with water will help prevent tantrums in the future. So even if the humidity and air temperature in the room are within the recommended norm and it’s not hot and dry, give water to your baby anyway. This should become a good, and in fact, extremely useful habit.

 Your baby may simply cry because he or she needs you. When you leave your baby alone, he/she starts crying  because baby instinctively understands that he/she is not viable without you. It is better not to leave your baby alone in a room. Make a space in every room where you can lay your baby down. Every time you move from one room to another, take your baby with you. That way your baby will never cry from fear and loneliness, which reduces your list of reasons behind the crying. It is difficult to understand how a baby feels when alone, but it must be not much fun. If the baby cries, and after you take him or her in your arms for a cuddle and baby stops crying, you can strike all other reasons off the list. The baby was crying because he/she missed you and needed your attention.

 Babies cry if they want to sleep but cannot fall asleep. This could be due to emotional stress and exhaustion, or something is bothering or annoying them. However, a very common situation is when the baby is falling asleep in your arms, and is laid down in bed, he/she wakes up and cry. So, train your baby to fall asleep anywhere except in your arms from the first days of the baby’s life. If you manage this, it will make your life much easier.

 One of your baby’s most natural reflexes is the sucking reflex, which permits sucking and swallowing milk. The sucking process gives pleasure and soothes your baby. When the baby is full of milk, feel free to give a pacifier, which helps the baby to relax and fall asleep easier. Sometimes it can be your only salvation! Although paediatricians advise you not to do this, don’t hesitate to give your baby a pacifier to make your life less stressful.

 Your baby will fall asleep easier if you are nearby. It helps if you read a book in a low monotonous voice. It doesn’t have to be a children’s book. You can read your favourite book, a newspaper or whatever else; you can even talk quietly on the phone. The baby will see you and hear your voice. That is enough for him or her to feel safe and fall asleep in most cases.

 Of course, it is more convenient for you if your baby falls asleep at the same time every day. If it was easy to train your baby to do so, you are one of the lucky ones. If not, leave it as it is, let the baby fall asleep when and where he/she does. There is no need to move your baby to his/her room or bed. 

 I have heard many people say that babies should always sleep at the same time and in the same place. So when the baby’s bedtime arrives, you should put the baby in their room, into the bed and leave. Even if the baby cries, you should not go in. After 20 minutes the baby will calm down and fall asleep and in a few days your baby will obey this rule!

Methods like these are often practiced in orphanages, where children come to realize over time that no one cares about them so they eventually stop crying. I was taught such an “excellent” method at the hospital where I spent the first days after my baby’s birth. I don’t understand why we need to complicate our lives so much and follow advice clearly invented by someone who did not really like children and women. Make your entire apartment into a baby’s room and let the baby fall asleep whenever and wherever he/she wants to. Make it natural and you will see a big difference.

 If your baby is tired but can’t fall asleep, try to figure out why. Maybe he/she is feeling hot or cold. Perhaps the baby was bitten by a mosquito and it itches and is causing discomfort, so you will need to smear on an ointment.

Clothing too may cause discomfort. The fabric and the seams, may be rough and chafe the baby’s delicate skin. The outfit could be too small even if it doesn’t appear to be. When the diaper is clean, the bodies or pyjama fits well, but when the diaper is full, the clothes stretch tightly, and the baby feels uncomfortable. If the clothes press the diaper too tightly to the skin, the baby can develop diaper rash. It is preferable to choose knitted cotton without collars and pockets, which are one to two sizes larger and outerwear three sizes larger. Until your baby starts crawling, larger clothes will not feel uncomfortable. Any clothing that fits close to the body should be white or neutral coloured because dyes can cause allergies. Also choose clothes without any embroidery, which could be rough on the skin.

 If all physical needs are satisfied, and the baby is not hungry or thirsty, is dry and clean, is feeling neither hot nor cold and you take the baby in your arms for a hug but he or she cries anyway, then it could be pain or some other kind of discomfort. The most common cause is that the baby has a stomach-ache. If the stomach is hard, the cause of crying could indeed be discomfort in the abdomen. Perhaps the baby overate. Maybe your baby hasn’t had a bowel movement in a while. If constipation is why the baby is crying, you should use a suppository recommended by your paediatrician.

 Even the slightest pain and discomfort can prevent your baby from falling asleep. As people fall asleep, they start to feel what they could not feel during the day when there were many things around to divert their attention. This is true for the baby also.

 Often the baby can wake up crying at night and whatever you do, you cannot help. If your baby is neither sick nor hungry, feels no discomfort, and you have been through all the possible causes for the crying and cannot comfort your baby, try to divert his/her attention. For example, turn on the table lamp, turn on a cartoon show, or hold up a picture or a book or something your baby can look at and get interested in and stop crying and then your baby will fall asleep again. Most of the time this helps.

 Does your baby cry and not want to take a bath? Even if the water is warm and comfortable enough, the baby is crying and you cannot understand what’s wrong. Perhaps the light in the bathroom is too bright and the empty white ceiling in front of the baby’s eyes is frightening. Create a comfortable atmosphere in the bathroom: turn off the lamps, light candles and turn on soothing music. Try to look at everything around you through your baby’s eyes and modify or move away anything that could create fear and negative emotions. 

 Over time you will understand what is making your baby cry and you will be able to interpret each intonation of voice and help your baby immediately so your little one will smile again and make you happy.